Angel found in the Ice
by OrlithNightfire
Summary: Bday fic for Ads. unbeted so the mistakes are mine. The Doctor loses Rose, same old story....but when she dies it lets something inside him break that may never be healed.


KITG: This is a birthday fic for Ads. So happy bday for the 24th! She wanted a shippy 9th fic. So I aim to please. this is un-betaed so the mistakes are mine.

Angel in Ice

"ROSE!"

His voice was whipped from his mouth in the harsh cold wind; the blinding glare off the snow impeded his vision. Even a Time Lord found it hard to function in this severity. His hearts plummeted as he was all too aware what this weather would do to the human body.

"ROSE!" but the sound never made it more than a few centimeters fro his mouth and it was stolen by the wind once more. How had it come to this? They had stolen her away after he had pissed them off. It wasn't her fault this time….it was his. Well most of the time it was his fault. He brought her to these places. But he gave a small smile as he could hear Rose in his head, telling him off again for the guilt trip.

Well he would start from the beginning. They had landed here; he wanted to show Rose the entire planet of ice. And the bio dome that humans had built, bringing a small island of green life to this ice ball. She had loved it, being in a tropical rainforest, seeing the snowstorm rage through the bio glass dome. They had eaten fruit and just had a day off from running from things that wanted to kill them. He should have known it would not last.

Turns out, the humans dealt with their criminals here by tossing them out of the airlock and out into the ice. And they just happened to come across them as they returned to the TARDIS. The Blue box standing out like a sore thumb in the nothingness. They had demanded the Doctor give them things that he did not have. And he had remarked on their IQ level. Along his usual 'stupid ape' line, and they had grabbed Rose instead, after one had come from behind the TARDIS and cloncked him caveman style.

The last thing he had heard was Rose struggling, calling to him. Then he heard the sickening clash of skin on skin….and she was silent.

His face set like stone, his eyes a storm. If they had hurt her, they would regret it. He found himself walking back to the dome. He had his leather jacket underneath a large nolly coat. A nolly coat was the large sheep fleece lined World War 2 fighter jacket. He had a hood on it. He remembered Rose's reaction to see him in it. Just seeing his blue eyes buried under the white cotton fluff, and leather suede. She had worn the 2006 version of a thermal coat. And of course in pink. Making him tell her she looked like a pink marshmallow…..then he had run….very fast over the snow, only to slip over and have Rose stuff snow in his hood.

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He passed through the airlock, hanging the large nolly coat on the coat hooks by the side. As the heating system kept the place warm, he came into the main reception to see the guide from before walk forward. He was a descendant of one of the tribes of the Amazon.

"Doctor, what brings you back here?"

"Tiki, I need you to tell me the truth!" the Doctor's blue gaze cold as ice.

"The truth about what?"

"About the outlanders. Or should I say convicted criminals"

"You should be careful of what you say Doctor" Tiki warned, his dark skin seeming black in the fake lights. His eyes dark as he looked around the assembled people going about their business.

"I don't care Tiki, they have Rose. Where do they hide? How do they survive in this cold?" the Doctor

"I should not say Doctor" he turned to leave. But the Doctor grabbed his arm and turned him to face his gaze again and Tiki flinched.

"I don't care about your stupid secrets. All I care about is Rose, and where she is. So tell me!" the Doctor shouted at Tiki. The man looked at the Doctor a moment then sighed.

"Very well Doctor. I shall take you there"

"You know where it is? Won't it be a little too cold for you?"

"Did I forget to mention I am part Eskimo?" the Doctor smiled.

"Fantastic!"

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Turned out the convicts had set up shop in the founding base. It was like a nuclear fall out shelter built into the side of a mountain. Trouble was there were so many mountains; the police forces had forgotten which mountain it was built into. But the forces had decided to ignore the convicts, thinking they would just die out. Tiki informed him a lot had, but they had supplies and water. One of the convicts had been one of the first pioneers, and knew the ins and outs of the shelter system. So had got it up and running. He had ideas why Tiki knew this...but at the moment he didn't care.

They had traveled over the icy tundra, two black specs in a sea of white. The mountain loomed before them.

"How we going to get in?" The Doctor shouted in Tiki's ear to be heard.

"There is the air access, that's the best way to get in if you wish to find your friend." He shouted back as he pointed to the vent system that kept the air circulating through the mountain. The Doctor undid the screws on the vent with the sonic screwdriver. They crawled into the narrow steel vent, making sure their bare skin did not touch the metal as in this temperature would rip their skin off. They moved deeper, until they had to stop before the fan system, the heat radiating off it making them sweat, as the fan not only circulated the air, but heated it as well.

Inside the base you could see it had been abandoned, dust layered all over the place. Boxes and old machines. They moved further inside, the signs of habitation becoming more apparent. Until they came to what have once been a Vehicle bay. There standing atop an old snow mobile, it's treads long since broken, was a man speaking to what the Doctor supposed was his followers. He was rugged and wild, skin blasted by the snow, making him look older than he was. He had a long dark beard covering most his face.

"They have shunned us for too long! It is time they were made to account for what they have done to us. With the offworlder we will gain the advantage we need. Once they see we will kill any who come here! We will take back what they have made off the blood and sweat of us!" the crowed roared in agreement. The Doctor and Tiki slipped away, The Doctor had noticed a girl wearing Rose's top. They followed close behind until she went into a room. The Doctor strode in, Tiki closing the door behind him, keeping a look out.

"Who are you?"

"Where is she?" The Doctor snarled, no patience left. And the girl felt fear.

"W-w-who?" she stuttered as he invaded her personal space.

"Rose. The offworlder. The one whose top you are wearing!" he face so close to the girls in his anger.

"S-s-s-she's in the holding cell."

"Show me!"

She led them down a dimly lit hallway, no guards; obviously thinking Rose was no threat to them. As they got nearer the Doctor noticed how cold it was in this part of base.

When the Doctor found her, he realized that they had been right in the thought she was no threat. For they had made her so. She was curled in the corner, her body shivering in the cold as she only had on the tank top and jeans. The girl at his shoulder had taken the hoody. The Doctor turned his contemptuous gaze on the girl, almost ripping the hoody off her. Then he moved towards Rose.

"Rose?" he asked in a tentative voice. He kneeled beside her, placing his hand on her shoulder. Shocked by the cold he felt. His body temperature was lower than a humans. So he was scared that she felt so cold to him.

"Rose?" still no response. He turned her gently over, growlin low when he saw what they had done to her. She was beaten and bruised. Both eyes black, dried blood leading from her nose and mouth. Her breathing was raspy, and her pulse thready.

"The child has pneumonia." Tiki commented.

The Doctor wrapped her hoody round her shivering form and held her close to him, turning eyes of ice once more on the girl.

"What they have to do this for?"

"She fought them, broke Bobby's nose. They got mad. It happens, doesn't matter"

"Doesn't matter? Doesn't matter! They almost kill her and it doesn't matter!" he came close to her once more. "You had better hope she lives……for your sake. Now get your worthless life out of my sight" The girl ran off, tears streaming down her face as the Doctor indicated for Tiki to follow.

"We cannot take her outside like this Doctor, she will die in moments. In fact I don't think she will live. Best to leave her" Tiki stepped back as the gaze of darkness was turned on him.

"I will not leave her" he snarled, he walked back along the hallways they had gained entry to the base through. When he got back to the ventilation shaft he took his nolly coat off and wrapped it round Rose, always talking to her as if she was awake. Then he found an old carpet; he tied this round her, leaving two cabled free to drag her. Like a sleigh.

He sent Tiki out first then pulled Rose along with him, and still talking.

"Stupid ape, had to go and get kidnapped. I mean it's not as if you could miss them in all this nothing. What were they going to hide behind? A lamppost?" he laughed. "Yeah, I know I know. I didn't see them, or hear them. So it's my fault again. But you have to live Rose, because I have to tell how much you mean to me. How you have saved me, and I'm not talking about the Autons, or any of the others you have saved me from. I'm not deserving of the trust you place in me. Please Rose…" Before he had realized it he had reached the TARDIS, Tiki went back to the dome leaving the Doctor to take Rose to the med bay.

The hours flew by as he tended each injury, seeing everyone they had inflicted on her and the darkness deepened in his eyes. He cataloged each one; he would make them remember what they had done to her. When he had finished he took her hand and waited. But nothing happened except that her heart began to slow. Humans were so fragile.

"Don't you dare Rose" he looked to the read out. Showing that she was dying "Don't you dare give up Rose Tyler" he tried to slow time, to hold her to him. But he could not. The heart slowed more, his breath echoing it, until it became the dull monotone of death.

"Rose…." He placed his forehead against hers, looking at her pale skin, and peaceful face. "Rose, you can't be…please." He felt the darkness in his soul returning now Rose was no longer there to chase it away. He kissed her forehead, the tears running down his nose and on to her, making her look like an ice queen, with liquid crystal dew upon her. He stepped back, the sorrow now replaced with anger. And he left his will to live behind him. They would know what darkness they had brought to the universe.

Darkness called the Doctor…..

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She floated, the pain she had been in had been taken by the cold. It had hurt to breathe, every breath feeling like she was inhaling shards of glass into her lungs. But after a time that dulled also, leaving her floating in a sea of cold. For a while she had heard someone talking to her, she knew it was someone she trusted. But it was as if her brain had succumbed to the cold, she couldn't think straight. Couldn't remember. But she felt sad for whoever it was, he sounded so alone. After a while the cold became warmth, but the man sounded even sadder, begging. Then he stopped, she could feel him near still, felt the warmth of a fallen tear. Then he left and she was alone in the floating white as the warmth spread.

But something kept nagging at her, as though she had lost something. She didn't want to be here. She wanted to be where ever that man was, to be safe in his arms. The smell of leather, the ice blue eyes that could turn to the color of an ocean in a second.

"Doctor….." Yes…that was the mans name, but he wasn't a man. He just looked like a man. But she didn't care. She wanted to be with him. So she walked from the warmth and light. Into the pain and darkness. If the man had to go into the darkness, she would not let him go alone…..

She cried out, as the pain grew, every ache becoming known, as her heart convulsed and began to beat. She hissed in the sterile air. And waited for the one she would live for to return…….

The Doctor stood looking out at the harsh view that he had seen last with Rose by his side. Then it had looked new, bright and full of wonder. But without her hand in his, it looked like it was. A cold barren waste land, with death its only certainty. His eyes saw the smoke still rising from the base, the now burnt out ruin as the thermite he had set off burnt through the base. Only common elements of Rust and aluminum dust. When it is ignited it will burn so hot it will melt 2-inch steel in seconds. It will continue to burn until it burns itself out. He had set it off at the top level and it was still burning. He had started it 3 hours ago.

He had also overthrown the leader of the dome, seems he had been pushing the innocent out with the guilty. So not a bad days work, two people overthrown, time continuing, as it should. But it would never hold the light for him anymore, never would the universe seem worthwhile.

Why should he defend it? Why should he fight for it after it takes so much? It never gives anything in return; it just taunts you, plays with your mind then takes it away in blood. It had taken his people by blood and fire, and then it had given him Rose when he was at his lowest. She had brought him back, brought him to stop seeing the death he so longed for. And now the Universe had taken her, slowed her heart before him until its final beat resonated through time and space. Hitting every part of him in its finality. She was gone, and there was nothing he could do about it.

He walked back to the safe form of the TARDIS. Her feeling of comfort no longer able to reach him. The shadows seemed darker in the green light, he gently caressed the console then set course to travel anywhere in time, just away from here. Then he looked to the darkened doorway that leads deeper into the ship. She waited in there, well not her but her shell. He could hear the accusations; he caused her death, his fault. But it had to be done; she needed to be taken home to her mum. Jackie would kill him, but he didn't mind.

So he left the TARDIS to travel and walked towards the Med bay, his mind a wash of guilt all containing her face. He came to the med lab; she looked like she was only sleeping under the lights, them giving her a rosy red tinge to her cheeks. He walked towards her, looking back now his huge ears should have picked up the rhythmic bleep the computer gave as her heart beat. But it was like he had cotton wool in his ears.

He came beside her and touched her cheek……and it was warm. He snapped his head up to look at the readouts….she was alive!

"Doctor…" came a raspy croak he looked down to see her sleepy eyes locked on him. He imagined he looked like a fish for about 2 minutes as he looked gob smacked at her.

"Rose….I…" he couldn't speak. It was like he had a lump in his throat, he felt the tears running unheeded down his face, but he could not move.

"Doctor? Why are you crying? What's wrong?" her voice was raspy from lack of use. She was still weak, but the fire was back in her eyes. Then she held his hand, trying to get him to respond. And it was like time turned again, the damn burst and he was left clinging to her, crying into her neck has he held her. He did not know how long he stayed there, nor did he care. She was alive and with him, and he did not deserve this. He could not tell her what he had done in vengeance of her. She would despise him, hate him, leave him. How could he tell her?

Finally the tears stopped. He was resting his forehead on hers and just watching her eyes. Showing her concern for him, he straightened up, placing a quick kiss on her forehead and then began to check her over. He finished by passing her some water, sitting her up. Her core body temperature had risen to normal, so with rest she would be back to herself.

"How do you feel?" he asked her.

"Tired, but do I have to stay in here Doctor?"

"No" he came forward and gently picked her up, she leaned into his hold, head tucked under his chin as he carried her to her room. He placed her gently on her bed, tucking her in under the covers. Even as he watched her eyes began to close, but she snapped them open to him. He still hadn't really talked to her. Just cried, and he could see she was concerned for him.

"You're sure you're ok Doctor?" she asked sleepily.

"Yes, go to sleep Rose" he watched her eyes close once more as sleep took her.

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Rose awoke some time later to the dim room, but she could feel his presence. He was still holding her hand. He hadn't noticed she was awake yet, she could see his eyes and he looked so broken. He looked exhausted and she wondered how long she had been asleep in the med bay, and for how long now.

"Doctor. I'm not going anywhere," she stated as she pulled on his hand, he was so lost in his dark thoughts that she surprised him. He lost his balance and fell beside her. As she looked into his eyes she saw something break inside, tears falling once more.

"But you did Rose…I lost you….you died"

"Then how am I here?"

"I don't know, but I should take you home…"

"No Doctor, please. It wasn't your fault. I trust you" he got angry then,

"You shouldn't trust me. I don't deserve your trust!" she stroked his face, as he closed his eyes on her trying to turn away from her.

"What is wrong Doctor? Please tell me" she could see there was something he was actually scared of. She leaned over him, turning his face back at her. "Doctor"

"I….when I thought you were dead, after what they had done to you. I wanted them to feel what I felt" his blue gaze had gone black. "And I made them feel it Rose. I made them feel what I felt"

Rose looked at him afraid a moment, he was the dark alien, not the best friend. Not the soul mate she had come to love and would give her life for.

"What did you do?"

"I went back and made the base melt around them, they screamed and asked for help. And do you know what I did, when the leader begged me to help him?" she shook her head in such a small movement you would be forgiven to miss it. "I did nothing"

Now she realized what he was scared of, that he had crossed a line that should never be crossed. That he had become something he never wanted to be. To be unfeeling akin to a Dalek.

"Did he live?"

"He got out…and was arrested, but I…I didn't want to help him….I" he didn't know what to say, how to explain it to her. He turned from her gain, but she pulled him back once more. And in her eyes he saw salvation and forgiveness.

"I'm not going to make excuses. I'm not going to say if I were in your place I would do the same. Because we both know I wouldn't be able to leave someone to die if I can help it. But I am me, and you are you Doctor. It's not you. You regret it, and you're scared of what you did. If you remember that, then…..in the end…" it wasn't alright. But he would get through it, she knew he would. But she had one more thing to tell him. "Doctor, I am not worth it. I wouldn't want you to become a cold killer who had no care for life. That would hurt me more than anything."

At this moment in time he was the new life and she was the wise elder, she had the answer to his soul and he loved her for it. She saved him all over again. He felt tired, exhausted from the mental anguish. And she could see it; she put the cover that had been tight around her like a sleeping bag over him. She laid her head on his chest, so he would have to rest. For a moment he looked as though he would resist, but then his arms were around her and she was safe. She felt his body relax under her, and she closed her eyes. His hand was rubbing softly up and down her forearm.

"Sleep Doctor, I'm not going anywhere" she felt the embrace tighten an instant, and then he relaxed. She drifted off to his double heartbeat. Later he would tell her of her death, and how he did not know how she lived. She would always tell him that he brought her back, that if she ever had the choice she would never leave him.

And to him….she was his angel found in the Ice.

KITG: okay. There you go Ads, hope you liked this fluffy, angsty fic. And to anyone else who read….hope you enjoyed too. See you in time.


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